I imagine that right now, you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole? … I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that’s not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Ted? … I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about? … Do you want to know what it is?… The Circuit is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. … That you are a slave, Ted. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind. … Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Circuit is. You have to see it for yourself. … This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I’m offering is the truth, nothing more. … Follow me... on this most excellent adventure.

That's right, we're watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, starring Keanu Reeves as Neo "Theodore" Logan, Alex Winter as Trinity S. Preston, Clarence Clemons as Morpheus, and George Carlin as Agent Smith. Join us in discovering that life is a lie, and don't forget to take your pills!

Starring Nick Keller, Ash Blodgett, Bret Eagleston, and Samantha Willson