Commando with Jason Anarchy
When a stereotypically evil Aussie proves once again that the entire continent can't be trusted, Arnold Schwarzenegger tries to send him 6 feet down under. That's not a gun. THESE *kisses biceps* are guns. That's right, we're watching Commando! We've got special guest Jason Anarchy, from the currently running Drinking Quest Kickstarter!
Starring Ash Blodgett, Bret Eagleston, Samantha Willson, and Pat Edwards
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/drinkingquest/drinking-quest-six-pack
Below is a rough automated transcript of the episode. We are working on making this better:
Bret: Another episode 3 watch them shall we watch movies that we lived in our youth and find out if there's still any good I'm Brett.
Bret: Wait that's not right that's not how the intro goes.
Pat: Not usually.
Pat: We're one down this evening.
Pat: I'm the ass and the fat.
Bret: Pat's filling in for for both himself and Ash so he's going to be a split personalities this evening but yeah I'm sure Ashley back in an episode or two but we do have a fourth person with us today.
Pat: Yeah we have a guest of returning guest that I'm very very excited to have you joining us again because selfishly cuz his taste in movies and mine the Venn diagram of art is just a circle apparently we have the prolific game creator maker of the drinking Quest series and your friend is sad games the one and only Jason Anarchy a Jason.
Pat: You are here specifically because you have something exciting that's about when this episode comes out in the very very right after that episode this episode comes out after listening to it it's either about to happen or it's in the middle of happening when you listen to this episode so what is that Jason what happened.
Jason: Yasso March 2nd Kickstarter compilation game called tricky Quest six pack which is all six drinking Quest games in one box and everything's real Super Deluxe and fancy in all kinds of bells and whistles and basically six games for the price of 2 and it's the culmination of of 10 years of work of the valuable genre of drinking RPGs so I'm very excited to get that.
Pat: I would call it the invaluable.
Jason: Yeah yeah it's especially in pandemic X you know if you can get someone to drink with I'd say that's that's a pretty nice way to pass the time so.
Pat: Don't rub your temples and shame at me bro.
Bret: You know the jokes just never get any better.
Sam: I do have plans for Brett to bring me a margarita right after I give birth there is as filthy donut shop across from the hospital and a Mexican food restaurant so.
Bret: Are we going to have a full bar next to the bad there it's ready to go.
Pat: Katie's got a bottle of champagne like in the fridge that you're bringing that to that hospital.
Bret: Well I'm very excited to have Jason I'm excited to check out the the multi game pack everything everything is awesome in 2021 there's nothing wrong in the world it's so nice.
Pat: My God.
Sam: Don't you curse 20/20 what why would you do that.
Pat: It's way too early in the recording for YouTube this up.
Pat: No but if the drinking Quest six pack 100.
Bret: Right on.
Pat: What's my alarm.
Jason: I should spoil you more and can you play another game I have to go I'm just trying to systematically.
Pat: I know you got soul but Jason equally as excited to talk about this movie what movie are you watching tonight.
Jason: We are watching Commando the 1985 Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle which is basically it's basically the template for like big dumb 80s action movies.
Jason: Oh no you didn't know.
Sam: It's an Arnold movie I didn't know so excited yes.
Bret: Tom Arnold.
Pat: Arnold yeah it is this is one of like the this is like a Mount Rushmore level Arnold movie like this deserves consideration for if you rent a top-tier Arnold.
Sam: I have a non-alcoholic beer in the back of the fridge that I've been saving and tonight is the night I'm breaking it out.
Pat: I feel like this is the excuse this is Napa.
Sam: Yes.
Pat: And it's funny we describe it that way there's enough of it is very accurate because the director himself.
Pat: Mark Lester has is been on the record coding it as he believe this to be the quintessential 80s action movie.
Jason: I completely agree with that I think and I think someone can sign me up for another example you know I think this will be basically invented the Action Movie one liners.
Jason: Because it was so Shameless with a terrible but amazing jokes and it's like many movies have tried to replicate Arnie's one-liners out of this movie but there's only ever you know a couple here and there but this movie is just 90 minutes of just Arnold killed a hundred people and just quits a hundred times and it's amazing there's nothing like it.
Bret: I'm curious.
Jason: It's been a long time since I've seen it so maybe it doesn't hold up.
Bret: How early in an Arnold filmography is this one is this.
Pat: It was 85 I mean is relatively early but he was.
Pat: I'll tell you.
Jason: Conan and the Terminator those are the two movies he was known for its this is probably.
Pat: Don't forget Hercules.
Pat: Hebilla a handful but it's tough it is mostly lost to the Oblivion the best of History like the long goodbye.
Pat: The TV movie called happy anniversary and goodbye stay hungry Streets of San Francisco San Pedro Beach Bums the villain scavenger hunt the Jayne Mansfield story a TV movie.
Pat: Then Conan the Destroyer Terminator Red Sonja Commando.
Bret: Okay yeah cuz like I think did Arnold just invent one-liners cuz I feel like Arnold is but that's it's his whole thing in every movie.
Pat: I will find you.
Jason: Who's delivery nobody can shamelessly say these lines and get away with it like you can so he's got that little smirk in a movie.
Pat: I want Arnold voice I'm doing the voice.
Jason: It's going to double over the whole movie.
Pat: I have a particular set of that's for Scottish Irish I'm just not going to try because I failed twice.
Jason: Who wrote the script had a lot of fun with like puns or just writing those one-liners the first time I saw them.
Pat: It's funny you mention as far as what makes it a little bit different the two is he is cited as what made him really interested in doing this was because the quote he's like I wasn't just a caveman or like he was a real person he starts off as a real person.
Pat: Get ridiculous but he's like I didn't want to just be Hughes kind of I think cuz I said he'd done both can't Kona movies and redstonia which was like repurposed Conan movie.
Pat: But he just was looking for something different.
Pat: Open up a whole new world of guns instead of swords.
Bret: It's it's really funny that is at. Just cuz my head Arnold's just a very funny guy and most of the movies that I've seen him in and if this was this first gun guns thing is Terminator right but.
Pat: Yeah that's right sorry technically Terminator.
Jason: He was only unintentionally funny in that is famous I'll be back line but showcases accent more than anything else.
Bret: I'm just so excited about this.
Pat: Charismatic man the guys super charismatic.
Jason: He's committed to it to what he's doing like he's not doing most cases he's not a traditional actor where it's like wow he's really being in a different kind of character is it well enough you can tell he's having fun with it and the different layers he has in this movie.
Jason: Something new is not just a muscle anymore.
Bret: CVS vet the Riders are only like all right we're going to make like a real serious like super dope action movie and he's like.
Pat: I mean he I think this movie probably would have been lost to obscurity if it was he wasn't him because he was not the he's not really not the first pick he wasn't the second pick for the lead role you would think this movie was you would think it was Arnold your chicken or egg Arnold before Commando like we're going to make this movie for Arnold note the original screenplay writer said he originally wrote it for Gene Simmons.
Sam: What.
Pat: Kiss.
Pat: And then it was going to be Nick Nolte.
Bret: What are these choices.
Pat: And then art.
Jason: What am I saying with Gene Simmons.
Bret: That seems like it might.
Bret: Might it might have turned into a dunk fast if it was Gene Simmons.
Pat: Yeah I do.
Bret: He doesn't scream like action to me.
Pat: I don't think we would know it existed if it was I don't think it was.
Jason: What if lyrics.
Jason: But what if he was like shirtless muscular Gene Simmons and he's just killing people and just delivering those one-liners of Gaston like that that could have still worked I think that could have been a cool movie.
Bret: I'm just imagining Arnold with a freakishly long tongue.
Pat: Does a nonzero chance when he does like the camouflage paint it wouldn't be somewhat reminiscent of his demon makeup or there's a line of like when I was in the service.
Jason: Let there be a few kind of wink at the camera moments.
Pat: If you if you don't get the reference cuz it's super old like that was his alter-ego in case he was right there's like demon in one of those Starchild and wasn't it am I right I don't know any big kiss fans in the crowd here okay.
Bret: I don't remember the names of the members of Kiss.
Jason: Play Weezer fan in a Weiser likes kiss so I know I know I know a few things about kiss through Weezer songs.
Pat: Let's play the budget game in box off.
Pat: So.
Pat: 1985 monies this is an estimated budget so I'll preface that.
Bret: Sorry I don't remember how big this was in terms of budget and explosions I know there's plenty of explosions in guns and whatnot but I don't I just don't remember if it was like high-impact you know like huge budget or if this was like we can afford like several explosives and the rest of it is just like squibs and we're going to go film in Uno out behind the studio in the in the bushes I want to say maybe it was like 40 mil know that seems like a lot but seems like a lot.
Jason: Biggest 10-15 million in 1985 dollars.
Pat: 1985.
Jason: Because it's like yeah you like it was a very expensive at the time it was probably like a million or two and then y'all explosions I probably cost them money and there's a lot of extras because Arnold kill so many people in this movie so there are there was a quantity of actors.
Bret: I said 40 I'm going to have to stick with it family got.
Pat: Samuel hazo.
Sam: 17.
Pat: Budget Jason is just a $10 budget and you said Arnold made 122 he got paid 1. 5 million.
Jason: In the middle.
Pat: Yeah just killed it.
Bret: Man you should make movies in the 80s.
Jason: Can I please be amazing.
Sam: When did it release.
Pat: How do you think it did the box office other guys pick opening weekend gross October.
Bret: I feel like the bit The Big Numbers easier the gas most of the time I don't know about opening weekend.
Pat: Early October October 3rd so first week of.
Sam: I feel like it probably did around 45 million worldwide box office total.
Bret: 70 like it was a got big at the.
Jason: Sa 60.
Pat: Cumulative worldwide is 57.
Bret: Hello.
Jason: I memorized all the stats ahead of time with totally cheating.
Pat: I did seven reflection behind him he's got IMDb open on this screen opening weekend USA grossest 35 million which actually sounds like nothing but in 1985 it was the 21st highest grossing movie of the year.
Pat: There's a lot of the first being back to the future with a whopping hundred 90.
Pat: Beverly Hills Cop 157 and the first Rambo at 1:50.
Jason: Different movies.
Bret: I want to hear more of this let's what that what beat out Commando.
Pat: So you may go chop down.
Jason: The first one.
Pat: Back to the Future remember it's a bit yet 190 Beverly Hills Cop 157 Rambo first Blood 150 Rocky 4 at 89 million cocoon 76 million witness 68 The Goonies.
Pat: Police Academy 2.
Jason: Classic.
Pat: Fletch 50.
Pat: A View to a Kill at the James Bond one with Christopher Walken as the villain at 50 million.
Bret: Bring into the podcast.
Pat: It's it's pretty not I like them I like all bonds are all flawed is Fox but hey that's what's got Christopher Walken and Grace Jones in it it's a Rodger Moore joint it was the one that made him decide he had to stop because his romantic lead was like 35 years younger than him or something like that.
Pat: She would like like mid-twenties need like 50 or 60 or something like that.
Pat: European vacation with 11.
Pat: Mask was for the mask mask I think that's the one that was like Eric Stoltz or his face is kind of like.
Jason: Was originally supposed to be in Back to the Future.
Pat: That's right but isn't he was funny he was too serious.
Pat: Fired oven recast The Breakfast Club at 13 at 13th Place and 45 million.
Sam: All of these came out that year.
Pat: Yeah Pale Rider.
Sam: Oh my God.
Pat: 41 Pee-wee's Big Adventure I don't know why I said it like that Brewster's Millions.
Pat: This is I was surprised at how I mean still respectable but I was.
Pat: As if I told you that ET was only the 17th highest-grossing movie the year it came out.
Pat: Only 40 million.
Sam: Wait so you're telling me back to the future.
Pat: Oh 1985 re-release it says nevermind.
Sam: Iceland salmon.
Sam: ET came out the same years back to the future and Goonies.
Bret: What is is 1985 the 80s is 1993.
Pat: No I must have been earlier it was actually that's insane ET made 40 million on a re-release oh nevermind Jagged Edge I don't know what that is Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome Spies Like Us and then Commando.
Bret: There's a lot of big names above Commander I was like what could it be it was a lot I believe that other position on the list now.
Pat: Teen Wolf came out that you're to Michael j. Fox this time of the year.
Pat: But yeah so I've won more games we can play special to this movie and Jason you've alluded to it before as far as guessing at numbers guessing game.
Pat: What's the total body count of this movie and how many did Arnold kill.
Jason: I know that one already he kills 100 people in this movie and you can make a few arguments that a few of those deaths are off-screen but that is accepted number this is Arnold highest kill count movie.
Pat: Yeah.
Jason: So we can keep a kill tally if you want we can compare later.
Jason: It could be either one of those things.
Pat: According to ovulation that cuz according to IMDb according to IMDb it's a hundred and two is how many Arnold kills and there are 109 total deaths.
Bret: IMDb trivia.
Pat: That's according to IMDb trivia you know that that vaunted that unassailable perfect Bastion of Truth.
Bret: F****** wrong like 900f the time.
Pat: And Jason you alluded to this also without knowing it what's with funny about there are 54 stunt performers credited that's 17 more people than the cast The acting cast.
Sam: What how.
Bret: That's awesome.
Jason: Wow yeah that is that is a good bit of trivia.
Pat: As far as the cast goes of course we have Arnold Rae Dawn Chong if you might recognize her a handful of people you would recognize from a very very young Alyssa Milano as his daughter and she was a bunch of very recognizable names other people who try to do addition for did not get the role Alyssa Milano plays work Winona Ryder Shannen Doherty Elisabeth Shue Drew Barrymore Jennifer Connelly and Patricia Arquette.
Sam: Holy crap.
Bret: What is this list.
Jason: Wow.
Pat: I just said this is funny is also Dan hedaya who if you don't know the name you will recognize him in the second he is Cher's dad in Clueless he's a dad and tons of things these Will Ferrell and Chris kattan's dad and Night at the Roxbury.
Pat: You'll feel recognized and he's in a million things and then Bill Duke who's in a bunch of Arnold movies and again recognized him.
Pat: Character actors.
Jason: Smacking predator.
Pat: That's right his name is cooking this one.
Jason: Right yeah yeah he's smacking predator and he's just one of those actors that he just seems to be in everything and most people probably wouldn't know his name but it is like a second.
Pat: If you saw an action movie between like 1984 1994 there's like a 90 hance Bill Duke was it at.
Pat: The crime movie or like a gangster to a cop movie or something.
Bret: There's a few of those actors.
Bret: Or just like they are there the bad guys or like the NPC's in every action movie.
Pat: So this isn't anything but part of the movie revolves around a deposed dictator from a South American country he's from the country of Valverde which is not real but it's a is a fictionalized sent south / Central American country that Hollywood used in multiple movies.
Pat: To evoke like a somewhat of a Cuba or Nicaragua Vibe without.
Pat: Saying it you're making it to avoid political issues they just made up a fake country and Valverde is used in this movie Predator Die Hard 2 and made-for-tv movie Super carriers: deadly enemies.
Jason: So Bill Duke's character from Commando and buildings character from Predator exist in the same universe.
Jason: Oh that makes sense yeah.
Pat: Are twins ice I choose to believe it is a Valverde shared Universe the VCU.
Jason: I can cook.
Bret: We need to bring back Valverde this is great let's just do fictional countries all the time.
Pat: And the last thing I really have pre-roll in a before you watch the movie everything else I feel like spoiled it is Arnold had to go to the hospital three times during the filming because he born here to do all his own stunts because this is like Prime Peak and you just couldn't find another human that could even come close to looking like him on screen to be a stunt double so we just had to do his own stunts.
Bret: I can imagine.
Jason: Just too swole.
Bret: I remember there's a specific Arnold swap out in True Lies when they're skiing and they cut it really cuts it like the back and see Arnold skiing down the hill and it's not Arnold and it's just like that person is so much smaller than Arnold like mosquitoes can't do it.
Pat: Yeah I mean this is the year after Conan destroyer and he's ridiculous in Conan the Destroyer.
Jason: Conan the Destroyer I would cite as like his is the best shape he's ever been in and this is like shortly after that so this is like on screen this is probably the best Arnold body ever get because Conan the Barbarian he's great Terminator he's great but he's a little bigger for these couple of movies so and then.
Bret: That wasn't actually in the script.
Pat: Justin sister.
Bret: Bud's of my contract I must be in the speedo.
Pat: Has anyone here not seeing this.
Pat: Hell yeah that makes.
Sam: Obviously if I didn't know that Arnold was yeah I know nothing.
Pat: It's been a long time for me actually.
Bret: It's been so I mean my recollection of this is pretty much that I haven't seen it at this point because this isn't a list of action movies that I've seen once and I was.
Bret: Pay a preteen for sure maybe under the age of had.
Bret: When I when I stopped most of these 80s eighties action movies.
Jason: A bunch of times a teenager and maybe once since then copy the movie on DVD because they released an extended edition that has an extra minute and 45 seconds of like changed or like additional footage I guess like seeing liked mostly so if you want.
Bret: How many more people does he kill in those couple of minutes.
Jason: I'll be keeping a tally.
Pat: It's been a while I remember honestly it's funny I remember them like.
Pat: Most basic pop.
Pat: Of what like the main Crux of the plot and then I just remember a few set pieces and violence I don't remember specific I'm going to be I think we're going to see a lot of creative kills and this one this is also famous for being very violent but also like.
Pat: I'm just doing with lots of ridiculous killing people in Ridiculous Ways.
Bret: Oldest the one with the with there's at least two popular memes from this movie that are still around today.
Bret: So I'm excited to see the the meme Factory that this was.
Bret: I do remember you know what it is if I think my brain mixes up with the plot and happenings of this movie with Predator - the Predator obviously but I feel like do they share a lot of like jungly.
Jason: I feel like that kind of looks a bit of a predator vibe.
Bret: What do you think's going to happen.
Sam: I know nothing about this movie except the name and now Arnold and some of the cast.
Sam: So like this is I'm sure totally off base but in my head it's kind of like the real version of Tropic Thunder is what I'm guessing like like the movie that inspired the parody that is Tropic Thunder and I doubt that's accurate but that's what it is in my head and I'm very curious to see if that's going to be true or not.
Pat: Can I read the four taglines for this.
Pat: Wait I'm going to do is Anise in descending order like least information given to most information given okay and it's a man what you doing and your prediction based on that first one.
Pat: Let's party.
Sam: What.
Jason: Tagline for almost any movie ever.
Jason: Especially the 80s.
Sam: Sounds like Jonah Hill's going to be in this movie now.
Bret: That's almost a shocking of a tagline as like your f****** word cloud or Cloud for ghost dog with pigeon.
Pat: Brickyard next one little more information but still no but somewhere somehow someone's going to pay.
Bret: It's not the movie where they press the button and someone dies and they get $1000000 or whatever.
Sam: Okay.
Pat: Next.
Pat: Where's the mission that no man could survive that he's the man for the job.
Sam: Okay that totally tracks with an Arnold movie.
Pat: Remove messenger tells you everything emerges friends are they taking that one thing he would kill for his only daughter may happen may heaven help them.
Sam: That's not my God.
Jason: Last party.
Sam: Fire the marketing team they did not know what they were doing.
Sam: That is a synopsis.
Bret: Wow.
Pat: UVA football.
Jason: Bad.
Sam: Well we know where their budget didn't go.
Sam: Which was marketing oh my God.
Bret: I really like let's party the best but I feel like that's the winner here.
Pat: Talk into epic Masterpiece finally hits the screen it's about a bunch of short people taking a piece of jewelry to an evil Kingdom.
Jason: They have to defeat the Lord of the Rings.
Jason: Let's party.
Pat: Filf started for every movie that we get hired.
Sam: Oh yeah.
Bret: Family works for Lord of the Rings though cuz they have a party.
Pat: You can't do it for this movie about two people dying of cancer that fall in love you can't seize us Party come on Bill did you read the script.
Jason: Should we cut the fellowship so it just looks like a movie about someone who's stressing over throwing a big party and then the tagline is left party that would be amazing.
Sam: Yeah they would be.
Pat: Let's be officially in the beginning of doubles or actual birthday party.
Sam: You mean the actual party.
Jason: You can like cutting away where I'd like it sets up the main antagonist is the sackville-baggins and it's just that the whole movies about them trying to get like Nobles furniture and ship.
Bret: Wonder if you could turn returning the ring to Mordor into like a returning a gift to Mordor.
Jason: Urban like re-gifting the ring to Mordor or something like that.
Pat: That's when they try to throw it in the fire they're like all we'll just like melted and warp it and reshaping into a different piece of jewelry so I know it's not a regift but oh s*** it doesn't it still cool to the touch dammit.
Pat: Texas board or can reshape this bring so they won't know it's a free gift.
Jason: Let's party.
Bret: This is the worst movie dads.
Sam: Very scared that this is a bad movie guys.
Jason: Play like it is but it is also very good movie the same time.
Sam: Okay.
Pat: Fun bad movie.
Sam: Okay okay.
Bret: Yes.
Jason: It is a well-made Cheesy action movie it's not it's not funny because of the poorly made movie.
Jason: So there's there's that at least that's like a different level of your typical so bad it's good.
Sam: Okay it's funny because it's trying to be funny.
Jason: Yeah intentional jokes in the movie land for the place has a lot of jokes that don't land but there are also a lot of very memorable jokes that that that just work and yeah that that don't distract you too much.
Bret: I went for that the quantity approach like if we tell enough jokes that some of them will have to be funny.
Pat: Just endless one-liners after killing people.
Jason: And I think it's moving influence the way I make tabletop games too because I make funny like board games and card games and I shamelessly just put like terrible one-liners into all of them and I think like the root of that is directly Commando now that I think about it.
Jason: Wow yeah oh man movie had an impact on my life.
Bret: I have to do like a special thanks.
Jason: Oh yes thank you Commander.
Pat: Is it the most introspective anyone's ever gotten while discussing Commando.
Sam: Chase's introspective.
Pat: Yeah he's like it defines his whole career.
Jason: It had an impact on my life element.
Bret: I thought you might like.
Sam: I thought you might like I thought my mind was still on the tagline wrist so.
Sam: I just can't.
Bret: Let's party.
Jason: Of course.
Pat: You can still most of these somewhere somehow someone's going to drink.
Jason: I'm currently running Facebook ads for drinking quest game so just because it's to make you guys laugh I'm just going to change the tagline to let's party for a week or something and just I just see how it does people react to that.
Pat: I'm going to seek them out on Facebook can you share ads on Facebook.
Jason: Oh yeah I'm sure I'm sure I can tell you in there.
Jason: I predict this movie will be 100.
Jason: After all these years.
Sam: That is literally never happened okay.
Bret: That is a prediction yeah I'm just looking for a decoding the one-liners from this for the rest of the week like that's I think that's if I get that out of it if I get to torture say I'm with bad jokes that's all I need.
Sam: I'm so excited.
Bret: All right we're going to pause a recording here and go and watch Commando and we'll see you when we get back.
Sam: Somewhere somehow.
Pat: We got it there it is there's the intro with us and we're back we're back baby.
Sam: Yes we are.
Pat: Oh man just have so many such a short movie have so many thoughts.
Sam: What just like a lovely little vacation from the hellscape that is been recent times.
Sam: Yes.
Bret: A wonderful vacation.
Sam: Yeah actually.
Pat: Remove to there's no like downtime it's just like.
Jason: Al momento.
Pat: I want a real quick before we dive into the darkness thoughts but there's a piece of trivia that really stuck out to me that I was like why would this and I'm still more confused now because apparently they shot a love scene with Arnold and Rae Dawn Chong.
Pat: But they felt it like wasn't it it was inauthentic or didn't make sense and they cut it and like where when when did this happen is what I want to know you guys tell me when this movie when would they do they have time to have sex.
Bret: It would have answered the question of why is he in a speedo now.
Pat: Mobility.
Jason: Yeah it's a holdup but yeah I was really cool one-liners were 50 mix.
Jason: The first thing I wrote down here was Arnold talking with his daughter Alyssa Milano like reading a newspaper and he's like.
Bret: Is 100 0ad jokes and that that's that's he's a dad joke serial killer.
Pat: Yes loved it.
Jason: Describing it for sure.
Bret: How many good one-liners.
Jason: Arnold feeding a deer and a pink shirt that was that was good and the log meme that I've been seeing around lately is that one shot of Arnold Building a log in the beginning blocking out the sun with his bicep that's.
Bret: Excellent.
Jason: Credible.
Pat: There's a phone case I think the actual Arnold has it is a picture of him floating around with it if you don't like the new iPhones have like the three or four little camera lens things it's like it's like a perfect representation of that like four barreled bazooka so they're like an iPhone case where it's him holding it and it's like the iPhone lens pictures are the barrels of the Bazooka.
Bret: Flowers that.
Sam: There's so much.
Bret: So I mean so much so much going on.
Sam: Where do we want to start.
Bret: Sam had some good thoughts about it.
Sam: I have good thoughts for an 80s action movie.
Sam: Surprisingly.
Sam: Pro female.
Sam: I'm very feminist I was shocked and very surprised like there is the awesome like flight attendant lady who like stands up for herself and lake is training to be a pilot and she takes karate lessons and she's like a sidekick character without there being any like dumb romance between them it's amazing like she is his equal the whole movie with the exception of the fact that she's not as strong as it will like character-wise like there's no looking down on her like she uses her strength to help Propel the plot forward like.
Jason: How to use a rocket launcher.
Bret: Yeah.
Sam: Yes yeah and.
Jason: Instructions.
Sam: Yeah yeah I read. That was a joke you like she shoots it backwards but it wasn't like demoralizing or like haha you stupid woman it was like no like this is not your area of expertise like yeah you could make that mistake easily.
Jason: What a lot of people Chew Tobacco age the first time I think.
Bret: Carl the second time.
Sam: She did she didn't miss also some lady wish-fulfillment there of like wanting to rocket launch your freaking cat collars like that was great.
Bret: Yes.
Jason: Yea though it was okay they got shot with the rocket launcher because they were so scummy.
Bret: Did you at did you guys watch.
Bret: Did you guys watch Wonder Woman 1984.
Bret: Okay so I was watching that scene and Sam said that like wish fulfillment and I was like like this is the same Vibe and like same scene that they were trying to do and Wonder Woman with with cheetah beating up that dude and it just f****** work in Wonder Woman and I was like trying to.
Pat: How much did.
Bret: Trying to put my finger on it as to like what was so different about it cuz it was essentially the same scene but like I think we're just very realistic and like not power tripping character just like I do every every person that called her was killed in this which was pretty pretty hilarious.
Pat: She has some good lines to.
Pat: With even Arnold like she's like I'm not surprised I'm only 5 minutes and I want to kill you or.
Sam: Is so good.
Jason: She's getting some attitude right away.
Pat: It all her reactions during the motel fight so they shot her separately behind like the.
Pat: Bars or whatever and she just had lived all those like reactions in those lines about like toxic masculinity and stuff.
Pat: Yeah.
Jason: These guys eat too much red meat.
Pat: Oh fun fact when they burst in the other room with a couple.
Pat: In one frame real quick it's real quick there's a camcorder on a tripod next to the bed.
Bret: I think those guys didn't hear the actual gunshots next door.
Jason: Yeah.
Jason: Yeah yeah she's like resourceful.
Sam: Also pro-feminist how awesome is it that the daughter lets herself out of being trapped by the bad guys like she just MacGyver is her way out yeah guys I'm so happy.
Pat: All the one he had like a felon.
Bret: If you think about the timeline of how that was supposed to play out where Arnold shows up minutes late to add his daughter would have been dead like that that a sex scene would have been real awkward after that they like dang it if only we had no bone to just now I could have gotten there in time.
Pat: I'm I want to Google if it's out there somewhere I want to know when and where was it supposed to take place that that plane doesn't seem like the type of plane that you can autopilot cuz they did have like it's a 2-hour trip is said to the island.
Bret: I guess they had two hours.
Pat: Looks like I get but that playing that little Propel little seaplane does not seem like something you could like put on autopilot.
Bret: I don't think so.
Pat: I mean I'm not a pilot.
Sam: But if anyone could challenge except that situation it would be Arnold.
Pat: One hand on it one hand on the controls.
Jason: Being the best Commando we can be.
Pat: I couldn't keep saying that's not a rank that's not a thing that's not the official like position in the Army it's just like a generic term for a Salt Lake.
Bret: Status code name.
Pat: Oh damn.
Jason: Yeah he ain't he's a he's a colonel a retired colonel in the movie and then Commando is only said when when Cindy is radioing to General Kirby near the end when Arnold goes on the island to kill everybody so she's like something.
Bret: Everybody said I need a ride oh my God.
Bret: He killed everyone.
Jason: Speaking of Arnold killing people.
Jason: I have 89 confirmed kills but that's without pausing it and there were a few scenes where they were big explosions where they were likely so people in there that I could find so.
Pat: Is dicey with her about the bear like the barracks blowing up and then there's a golden like jeeps in Like Water for people with their sit how many people are in that jeep is blew up.
Sam: What about like what about the guy whose RV just cut off at the end like this. Person count as a kill or not like.
Pat: Music.
Jason: He probably bled to death yeah I can't remember if I counted him I probably did I don't know.
Bret: He also did the at like the death Palm to the security guard in the mall.
Jason: Arnold's probably kill you.
Pat: Really big scene with the guys Army cutoff we're like smacked him or he's like don't like don't hate yourself.
Bret: Fantastic.
Jason: Stop hitting yourself.
Bret: I want that scene.
Pat: And then I guess I mean I was trying to count really and I'm wondering it's like are they counting people that in most movies.
Pat: Is the other just knocked out but like in real life there is no just knocked out like that's just called brain damage and you probably dead.
Pat: I think it was an evil Doc it's okay.
Jason: Yeah he steals the playing he he takes the the the plane clerk was just minding his own business on the dogs at least smashes his face against like a like a truck or something.
Jason: I hope so I hope it was only the evilest people use that dar.
Bret: And I think back to the security guards at the mall to like not all of the people that Arnold hurt or killed in this movie where bad.
Jason: Yeah it's a 10-minute sequence of Arnold just punching Mall Cops and he just keeps punching ball cops and it's just such a long scene.
Bret: Seahawks out of a pile of them.
Jason: Yeah just the Classic he's in the middle of that kind of comes up with his arms and then they all go flying back.
Jason: Play better Mall seeing has been Wonder Woman 1984.
Bret: Glide.
Pat: Just got a wild tint.
Bret: I haven't gotten an opportunity to talk about that in.
Sam: I'm pretty sure it's the same Mall.
Pat: Is this.
Jason: You think so it wouldn't surprise me actually they do seem really similar.
Sam: I think it's both both the Glendale Galleria Mall in both movies at least side in this movie they like show the sign for the Galleria.
Bret: Was the Galleria in Commando.
Bret: Coronavirus.
Jason: Taking the name of that mall and then Wonder Woman.
Bret: That mall scene was so hokey and Wonder Woman I do I don't know.
Bret: Can't I can't go out I can't turn into wunderland podcast.
Jason: Do dinner.
Pat: I'm in at 7 to get a mood to talk about Wonder Woman 84 right now.
Jason: Did anyone else notice Bill Paxton.
Bret: Where was he.
Pat: Yes he was the naval officer on the comms on the relay telling them like you're in outer space.
Bret: Okay yeah for like the 3 seconds he was on screen.
Jason: Don't have any game over moments but he was definitely there playing like a straight supporting role for a few seconds.
Jason: Yes in other greatest movie villains of all time.
Pat: Do we start with him the person in the wardrobe.
Bret: Was he wearing chainmail the whole time like a chainmail event.
Pat: This was like net chainmail it was like cotton.
Jason: Yeah.
Sam: Sexy chainmail.
Jason: Arnold Vilnius opposite in this movie is not a big buff guy he's the only Australian man with a Freddie Mercury mustache wearing chainmail.
Bret: What's the opposite of Austria Australia.
Pat: I don't want to be really careful of my word choice cuz like you don't want to body shame someone but his physique was not.
Bret: No I had the same thought.
Pat: Intimidating.
Sam: Final fight.
Bret: Final fight was just like this is not a fair fight like he didn't look out of shape in the scenes on his own but like standing next to Arnold or just like you've Let Yourself Go.
Sam: It's an unfair comparison.
Pat: Did anyone tell him he was going to be in an action movie with his arms bear the whole time.
Jason: And I love how I love his character and how he's just now they mention once the was upset about being thrown out of Arnold's unit and then in the end he just turns into this nice fnatic that just will sacrifice Asher kill just for the joy of killing someone with a knife.
Bret: After killing a hundred people with a Guyanese a chickenshit gun.
Bret: They had that one other line in there where he was there like he enjoyed killing too much but.
Bret: Flimsy.
Jason: Yeah yeah okay if it for the backstory was thrown out of the unit.
Pat: Huber's of like Arnold throwing stones at glass houses man like you seem to not mind it too much also with you and making you quotes and jokes the whole time what if there really is like is one line is bad.
Bret: You know that's that's probably closer to the truth though is like Arnold and Benatar probably like the same character except Arnold was just like oh yeah I know I like killing people way too much I quit I can't do this like don't let me near guns please thank you.
Pat: All he like realize that about himself.
Jason: Extended version that I watch the extra minute 45 seconds is a brief part where they actually going to Arnold's like character's backstory so the reason Jenny's mother isn't there is cuz she died during childbirth in Arnold goes and how he was never there and he's always off on missions and stuff like that and that's why he retired so.
Bret: That's it interesting I guess I get why they cut that because they were very explicit about her not wanting him to go back because because obviously they don't don't leave and then there was no Mom around I guess I was I'll just repeat info from what they already showed us but like.
Bret: How much longer left version of the movie did you was at the director's cut.
Jason: It director's cut its extra minute 45 seconds and it's just a few seconds here a few seconds there that's seen it was an alternate line of dialogue or Alyssa Milano is talking to Annette Bennett but the other dictator guy.
Sam: Scandalous.
Jason: So they probably changed it cuz it was a little girl saying ass so clean that up a little bit.
Bret: What's the minimum amount of stuff you can do to qualify your cut for a director's cut like what's a minute 45 is like seems just so minimal.
Jason: Stupid like me maybe that maybe that was originally the director's vision and those are literally the changes the studio made without asking the director maybe or.
Bret: She was supposed to say ass David.
Pat: After all the hype the Snyder cut Justice League is going to come out and the only changes he takes outside work saying boo yeah and that's it.
Bret: Really hype about that.
Jason: Got an R rating.
Pat: 4 hours long.
Jason: Superman.
Jason: Darkseid's ass.
Pat: Yeah and it's but also I like that they break into the surplus store in the most ostentatious way possible and then predictably police show up and they arrest Arnold but they let her leave with lots of weapons.
Pat: Miss that they say blink or something.
Sam: I thought she snuck away but that was also it was confusing it wasn't.
Sam: It wasn't clear.
Pat: Second building okay thank you Sam maybe you can help me with this other there's only one other thing I was like wait what was the point of that in the very very beginning when cook steals a catalog what was the point of that.
Jason: How to kill the guy selling the Cadillac he was part of Arnold's unit.
Pat: Always the guy.
Pat: You supposed to be okay one of Arnold's guys okay.
Jason: Problem with that scene is that cooks plan revolves around the fact that he was expecting the guy to get in front of the car.
Jason: Hit him with the Cadillac and he's trying to sell it to him.
Pat: Alphalete try to sell them on vinyl seats like.
Sam: Oh my gosh I know.
Jason: You don't want leather brother.
Sam: So bad.
Pat: Delisa Street assassination jobs like man that garbage truck plan you're really banking a lot of like your base.
Pat: I feel like he just could have easily been like whatever I'll just wanna garbage next week whatever.
Jason: Yeah and then it starts the movie off of the a good one-liner Now by Arnold but I haven't seen it and I'll mild spoiler.
Jason: So yeah cook is pretending to be garbage man guy comes out with this garbage just went gets the garbage truck in times like like don't worry we won't shoot them and then when he's on the ground.
Jason: It's it's it's so over-the-top and ridiculous but also amazing.
Bret: I can't get over how good the one-liners were in this.
Jason: Does everyone have a favorite.
Bret: I mean I feel like one of the ones that really got me I was.
Bret: I wasn't even a death one liner it was when they were driving in the car and she's like freaking out if she's like you going to tell me what's going on and just his delivery or no.
Pat: I mean dead tires pretty great.
Pat: Dad tired.
Jason: I like after he kills cook in the hotel and Cindy is like a car.
Jason: You just killed a Green Beret is going to kick your ass.
Pat: The delivery of hungry was so great cuz you just like a full Max screaming it.
Jason: And I think of the original version the only and you know they're not even the director's cut but I think when they originally filled it he only said I eat Green Berets for breakfast as the line because when he says right now I'm very hungry you can tell it's like really bad ATR like his mouth is moving and it's just it's so jarring but it's a fantastic line.
Bret: Immediately after that to the f*** you a****** f*** you a******.
Jason: So much commitment to those lines of great we were talking about the the tagline originally let's party so do you remember that.
Pat: Yes yes and he said yeah he said it I literally set up.
Jason: After seeing this I don't know like maybe 10 times in my life that's the first time I've ever noticed that or I had reason to notice it but it's yeah I was so happy when he said that the fight to fight with Bennett so.
Bret: Let's party and the theme song was the other part of the other tagline somebody somewhere.
Sam: Credit.
Bret: The cat song.
Jason: What soundtrack was not particularly 80s like it had that weird steel drums soundtrack but yeah.
Sam: I loved it.
Jason: That one theme for the whole week.
Sam: That was like the one thing that I was like oh I feel like it's missing in that is like that cheesy 80s soundtrack throughout the whole thing.
Bret: Yeah that song came out of Sam's.
Pat: Teased us they teased us with it because in the beginning it has the sax saxophone there's like a little riff and then it goes away in like doesn't come back.
Bret: Music at the beginning and at the very end.
Bret: Is going to die.
Sam: What.
Pat: Do you know that the director wanted Arnold to actually hold Sully over the cliff just by himself as if you're strong enough to know that you crazy like.
Jason: Nnfcu can see the wire on Sully's leg that he's hanging on.
Pat: Woody's first yes like a second big enough who plays Sully he is a watch before as a henchman that gets his comeuppance in the actor was in the crow as T-Bird.
Bret: I don't remember the names of the people killed in the crowd.
Pat: You the one who dies in his car he like the newest car like drives into it makes me explode or whatever yeah.
Sam: Yep I told you if there's anybody that can fly a plane and have sex at the same time it br.
Bret: Well all I needed to do the fly the plane was press that one lever.
Sam: Podcast.
Jason: Yeah it's like even if it didn't make sense to me they could have just throw another one light or it's like now it's time for some autopilot there's something.
Pat: That's why they say they cut it cuz yes cuz they're like this just feels you're on your way to save your daughter who might hopefully he's alive hopefully you say it would just be really be good for that.
Bret: My daughter is in danger and I am also incredibly horny.
Pat: Jenny runs up and hugs Cindy you don't know each other.
Jason: Yeah yeah that's the complaint.
Sam: Do they hug I totally missed that.
Pat: Yes.
Bret: Kids love Pilots.
Sam: Also she's like you hate the only other woman in this whole film.
Jason: Wow yeah.
Sam: At least they were well written.
Pat: Call Matt well I mean there was Motel lady yeah.
Pat: And the other flight.
Jason: There is a flight attendant that doesn't wake up my friend he's dead tired.
Bret: The magical moment because Sam didn't really know what to expect and like the first accident happened and it's like alright this is an action movie and they get on the plane and he snaps the dude's neck and Sam just gassed at her eyes get real big and excited as she looks to be if she's like oh my God this is going to be awesome.
Sam: Yeah I was and then like so he just kill them and then he like puts his head back.
Sam: And then freaking Weekend at Bernie's him at us.
Sam: Thank you this is a great Tech.
Jason: Yeah that's kind of the moment where the viewer is just like old guys not going to do the mission that's awesome that would have been much more boring movie.
Sam: Jumps off the plane that's in the air oh my God so good.
Jason: It's okay Lance.
Pat: You know almost swamps around LAX.
Sam: I do know them so well.
Bret: They had a couple of different kind of ways in that jump to like they just couldn't make one look like it was realistic he jumps out and then there's like two different dummy flu shots falling and then a third one where he hits the water and I was like.
Jason: Yeah they didn't do a good job of like the distance is just unbelievably high that he jumps around in some shots Vine.
Jason: But by that point you like well yeah he he killed the guy in the plane you know kind of movie this is going to be.
Pat: Don't take my hat off to the the sound editor for this for resisting the temptation to use will have all the Wilhelm scream.
Jason: Especially the last sequence they could have a few on there for sure.
Bret: The sum of the the falls and that last sequence through pretty ridiculous to just.
Bret: I think I counted three different like slow-mo like long shots of someone falling off of a roof.
Jason: Gladstone cast.
Sam: Yes.
Pat: What sequence is great I love the shots too or just his bare torso with the giant Gatling machine gun besides that it is just or so.
Sam: That did fulfill my prediction of Tropic Thunder just a little bit because that was definitely a Trope in Tropic Thunder just like the paint in the camo with like a machine gun in a barrel chest nothing at all.
Pat: Have you seen Hot Shots or Hot Shots part Deux to whatever it is they they Lampoon that scene hard and.
Pat: I mean put this movie you can see it's like one big Granddaddy's of so many of these like action movie cliches that are now like cheesy tropes and cliches.
Pat: How many security parody movies have like tikahtnu.
Jason: Template for action movies for about ten years after like there was some.
Jason: A lot of that silent movie though she like the biggest Blockbusters for a while.
Bret: I am I mean some of that stuff never went away the putting your Elite Training skills on display by standing up right in the middle of the enemies and just pointing your gun at them and never taking a bullet.
Jason: Open courtyard.
Jason: Thank you Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Sam: It was so much fun.
Sam: Just ridiculous it was everything I hoped it would be and more are there some bile problematic things like not enough women shirt.
Sam: And are all the villains by authorities.
Sam: But also it's an 80s movie where the second person or the supporting role is a woman of color and a really badass women of color so that's awesome and.
Sam: It was just ridiculous and fun and like everything you want and Arnold movie to be and more like.
Sam: One of the few ones where I be like yeah I totally just watch this again like we watch a lot of movies like I want one and done we're good here know this one has.
Sam: Infinite rewatchability it's it's ridiculous and awesome and thank you for bringing it to my eyeballs I appreciate it.
Sam: That's it that's all I got.
Pat: I can do mine and forwards.
Pat: All killer no filler.
Sam: Yes.
Jason: From someone who watched it when it came out and liked it then so you know if you seen it maybe once a long time ago.
Bret: Yeah I agree with that this despite is Arnold killing innocent security guards potentially and a couple other questionable things that happened a surprisingly unproblematic movie even the fact that all of the bad guys wear some sort of Latin X descent made sense because the plot was that they were all from they were literally trying to take over a different country that they were all from supposedly so it was just dumb action this is all of that candy fluff but with more dad.
Bret: Canyon Club loved it well yeah awesome Commando.
Bret: That's that movie Jackson thank you for coming on Luigi like to tell the listeners one more time where they can find you and do things.
Jason: Yeah thanks for having me and she want to check out some games I've worked on just chasing a turkey games. Com quest. Com and look for a drinking Quest six pack on Kickstarter after March 2nd.
Pat: I'm telling you do it or we won't be friends anymore listener.
Pat: It's a stealth episode.
Bret: Anda of course Ash isn't here today so guess what there was no audience engagement we didn't post a picture from this movie and no one guessed it sorry Mitch.
Sam: Michie would have gotten it.
Pat: Delphos oh.
Sam: I guess it's me then yeah so if you liked this podcast please give us a 5-star review on iTunes Apple podcasts or Google podcasts like our good friend Rick eyes just did thank you for that glorious review he specifically called out Brett's awesome songs that he mixes for the middle so yes always always.
Pat: If you like us cuz I was here listening to us so why wouldn't you like this word goddamn delightful check out some other shows on our network is certain pov. Com network shows like scream snark another past the real movie of the guy Saturday morning confidential book covers in the next couple of months but.
Bret: All right and we should have join us next week let me watch.
Bret: The ghost in the invisible bikini.
Pat: Naked ghost.
Sam: What that's disappointing.